Daily

Movie Review
Air Bud V:
Air Bud Spikes Back

I'm 31 minutes into Spikes Back, and so far, he hasn't even played any fucking Volleyball. Or any sports for that matter. What the fuck? There's just a bunch of crap about some girl doing pet sitting to make money to visit her stupid friend. Oh, and some guy who plays volleyball. I imagine that'll pay off eventually. There's also a parrot, which is pretty much a sure sign of a shitty movie. The parrot is named Polly. There's also some retarded Jewel Theives sub-plot. The volleyball plot is finally kicking in at around 45 minutes. If she wins the tournament, she'll get a free trip to california. There's a little boy, whose character seems basically be that he likes ice cream, and is small. Andrea, of course, manages to go from more or less retarded to volleyball master in the course of two weeks. Also, her failure or success appears on the fucking front page of the newspaper. It's only a matter of time before someone gets hurt or kicked off the team, and Buddy has to play instead. Yeah, there it was, some girl had to spend the summer with her Grandma, so now Buddy is on the team.

As an aside, there's a really uncomfortable amout of skin for the early teen girls. Who directed this? (Mike Southon actually. His only other directing credit is something called Bubbles.)

At this point, I'm going to watch the movie in fast forward, because this is taking WAY too long. Alright, the crooks kidnap Buddy, and make him steal a jewel, and he's robbing insread of playing volley ball. WHAT WILL THE TEAM DO??????????? Win for no good reason of course. Against the, get this, Ratz. That's the other team's name. The Ratz. They are, of course, pure evil. Speaking of evil, Robert Tinkler as Doug, the stupid criminal boss guy, is one of the worst performances ever. There's also an awesome part where they parents get home from a MULTI WEEK vetrinarian confrence, the Dad goes "Hello? Buddy?" he fucking asks for the dog. Not his kids, or their grandma. No. He wants to talk to the fucking dog.

Air Bud is apparently able to operate carnival machinery now in addition to playing any sport with preternatural skill. He's so good, that even the officials cheer his arrival. Buddy of course comes back and wins it all for them, since the kids could never have won on their own. Only MAGIC DOGS. Ok, Air Bud and Gabriel Reece just won a National Volleyball Tourney. That's fucking retarded. Fuck you Air Bud. FUCK YOU.